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Sentence Revision Exercises
Grammar Man Services
Sentence Revision Exercises

A.) Combine each of the following sets of base sentences in a single longer sentence.

1. Battaglia glanced at first base. He went into his windup. Then he threw a hanging curve that Ryan knocked out of the stadium.

2. Parker's friends ate his food. They sprawled on his sofa. They pretended to listen to what he said.

3. The fire raced through the abandoned warehouse. The fire leveled it in an hour.

4. When Nicola didn't show up for their wedding, David walked down to the South Street Bridge. He climbed onto the railing. He made the last dive of his career.

5. Their home-built sloop rode out a hurricane along the Atlantic coast. It glided through the narrow channel at Rocky Neck. Then, with the voyage all but complete, it sank in six feet of water.

6. Fred dashed into the room. He lunged at Knuckles. He missed. He fell in a heap in the corner.

7. They walked on. They were looking at the stars. They were talking. They were ignoring the deserted look the cottages wore. They were pretending not to see the cars that passed them.

8. He smiled a little to himself as he ran. He was holding the ball lightly in front of him with his two hands. His knees were pumping high. His hips were twisting in the almost girlish run of a back in a broken field.

9. Darling trotted back. He was smiling. He was breathing deeply but easily. He was feeling wonderful. He was not tired, though this was the tail end of practice and he'd run eighty yards.

10. Christian Darling, thirty-five years old, sat on the frail spring grass. The grass was greener now than it ever would be again on the practice field. He looked thoughtfully up at the stadium. The stadium was a deserted ruin in the twilight.

11. She made believe she was going to quit work as soon as Darling found a job, even though she was taking over more responsibility day by day at the magazine. She was interviewing authors. She was picking painters for the illustrations and covers. She was getting actresses to pose for pictures. She was going out for drinks with the right people. She was making a thousand new friends whom she loyally introduced to Darling.

12. He drank some whiskey straight. He went into the bathroom where his wife was lying deep in her bath. She was singing to herself. She was smiling from time to time like a little girl. She was paddling the water gently with her hands. She was sending up a slight spicy fragrance from the bath salts she used.

13. Darling laughed embarrassedly. He looked hard at them sitting there. They were close to each other. He shrugged. He turned. He went toward his hotel. The sweat was breaking out on his face. It was running down into his collar.

14. She looked at him seriously for a moment. Then she scrambled around, like a little girl. She was kneeling on the seat next to him. She grabbed him. Her hands were along his ears. She kissed him as he sprawled, head back, on the seat cushion.

15. She knew everybody. She condescended to no one. She devoured books that Darling had never heard of. She walked along the streets of the city. She was excited. She was at home. She was soaking in all the million tides of New York without fear, with constant wonder.

16. He lay there for five minutes. He was looking at the ceiling. He was thinking of Flaherty. Flaherty would be walking down the street. Flaherty would be talking in that booming voice, between the girls. Flaherty would be holding their arms.

17. Darling half-closed his eyes. He almost saw the boy fifteen years ago reach for the pass. He saw the boy slip the halfback. He saw the boy go skittering lightly down the field. His knees were high and fast and graceful. He was smiling to himself because he knew he was going to get past the safety man.

B.) Rewrite the following paragraphs by joining simple sentences into complex and compound ones.

1. The rock star was young. He was dressed in a pink satin shirt and purple jeans. Everyone looked at him. He knew they were looking at him. He smiled shyly. He grasped the microphone. He sang two songs. He wrote these songs himself. His fans were delighted. They greeted him with cheers and screams.

2. A pep meeting was held last Friday night. Memorial Stadium was the scene of the meeting. The meeting was attended by thousands of students. Over a hundred faculty members were there too. It rained Friday night. There was also some sleet. Everyone stayed for two hours.

C.) Join the following simple sentences into complex ones by adding words to make one sentence of each pair an adverbial or relative clause.

1. I visited Jane McKiney during the summer. She is a friend of mine.

2. Littering is a problem in many cities. Nothing is being done about it.

3. Joe Campbell caught the quarterback's pass. He raced thirty-five yards for the winning touchdown.

4. The canoe hit a series of rapids. They were swept into the river.

5. Angie couldn't sleep. She took a sleeping pill.

6. He drank milkshakes all summer. He gained enough weight by September to make the team.

7. Phil and Dave were college students. They had a great business repairing guitars.

8. The flashlight did not work. The batteries were dead.

9. Some people set their goals low. They are afraid of failing.

10. The little boy was frightened by the thunder. He began to cry.

11. I am going that way anyway. I will give you a lift.

12. I saw the trophy. She won it in the swim team meet last year.

D.) Combine each of the following sets of sentences into a sentence.

1. Men marched through the city.

2. They were haggard.

3. They were hollow-cheeked.

4. The city was silent.

5. The city was hungry.

1. Alice met the Queen.

2. Alice was little.

3. The Queen was furious.

4. The Queen was crimson-faced.

5. She was the Queen of hearts.

1. The clothing is designed.

2. The clothing is expensive.

3. The clothing is faddish.

4. The clothing is presented by magazines.

5. They are fashions magazines.

6. The designing is for the girl.

7. The girl is tall.

8. The girl is pencil thin.

1. Businessmen admire.

2. There are many such businessmen.

3. They admire the way the Cowboys play.

4. They play football.

5. The day is cold.

6. It is precise.

7. It is reliable.

8. It is dependable.

9. It is predictable.

10. It is efficient.

11. It is businesslike.

1. The mass of ice marched.

2. The ice was moving.

3. The marching was down a valley.

4. The marching was slow.

5. The marching was quiet.

6. But the marching was inexorable.

1. We tend to use technologies.

2. The technologies are new.

3. Our use is profuse.

4. Our use is unwise.

5. Our use is even harmful.

1. H.L. Mencken criticized foibles.

2. The foibles belonged to society.

3. The society was America.

4. The criticism was witty.

5. It was sarcastic.

6. It was unmerciful.

7. The unmercifulness occured often.

1. The lecturer droned.

2. The lecturer was nondescript.

3. The lecturer was bespectacled.

4. The droning went on and on.

5. The droning was mechanical.

6. The droning was monotonous.

7. The droning was interminable.

1. The aircraft landed.

2. The aircraft was malfunctioning.

3. The landing was immediate.

4. The landing was so that it could unload the passengers.

5. The passengers were worried.

6. The unloading was quick.

7. The unloading was safe.

1. The packhorses were loaded.

2. They were gold rush packhorses.

3. The loading was very careful.

4. The loading was so that the packhorses could negotiate the trails.

5. The trails were steep.

6. The trails were treacherous.

7. The negotiating was confident.

8. The negotiating was surefooted.

E.) Combine the following sentences in each group into one sentence.

1. Joe Morgan is named.

2. He plays second base for the Reds.

3. His naming is usual.

4. The naming is to the Team.

5. The team is the All-Stars.

1. The kung survive.

2. They live in the Desert.

3. The Desert is the Kalahari.

4. The Kalahari is harsh.

5. It is unyielding.

6. Their survival is by joining groups.

7. The groups are for protection.

8. The groups are for shelter.

1. Nicholas Reynolds has discovered the remains.

2. He is an archaeologist working in Scotland.

3. The remains are of the structure.

4. The structure is the oldest one yet found.

5. The finding was in the British Isles.

1. Horse Creek flows.

2. Horse Creek is a stream.

3. The stream is small.

4. It is unnavigable.

5. It is 25 miles long.

6. It is the Cascades.

7. They are the Orgeon Cascades.

8. The flowing is through the mountains.

9. The mountains are timbered.

10. The timber is dense.

11. The mountains are protected.

12. The protection is from loggers.

1. The beer was provided.

2. The beer was frosty.

3. The beer had been lovingly protected.

4. The protection was from the sun.

5. The sun was hot.

6. The providing was for a reward.

7. The reward was instant.

8. The reward was for the members.

9. The members were of a group.

10. The group was a hiking group.

11. The group had finally arrived.

12. The arrival was at the campsite.

1. The house had a stairway.

2. It was a traditional house.

3. The house was simple.

4. The house was infinitely appealing.

5. The stairway was open.

6. The stairway was a symbol.

7. The symbol was one of welcome.

1. The chef created a menu.

2. We hoped to emulate the chef.

3. The menu was innovative.

4. The innovation was from the beginning to end.

1. The crowds heard a speaker.

2. They were fortunate crowds.

3. Martin Luther King addresses the crowds.

4. The speaker was one that they won't forget.

1. The umpire gave them a warning.

2. The players taunted the umpire.

3. The warning was stern.

4. The warning silenced them.

5. It did this immediately.

F.) Combine the following sentence groups into one sentence.

1. The following has happened throughout the country.

2. It has happened in spite of opposition.

3. The opposition has been vocal.

4. Recycling centers have sprung up.

5. They have sprung up in the last decade.

6. The springing up has been to combat the ways.

7. The springing up has been to combat habits.

8. The habits are those of individuals. (more)

9. The habits are wasteful.

10. The ways are spendthrift.

11. The ways are of big business.

12. The springing up has been to combat spending.

13. The spending is extravagant.

14. The spending is by government.

1. The following has happened from 1950 onward.

2. It has happened in every nation.

3. The nations are industrialized.

4. Television has tended.

5. The tendency is to become a babysitter.

6. The babysitter is for children.

7. The children are mesmerized.

8. The tendency is to become a means of escape.

9. The escape is for adults.

10. The adults are bored.

11. The tendency has been to become a friend.

12. The friend is one to people.

13. The people are lonely.

14. The people are old.

1. REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep occurs.

2. It occurs roughly every 90 minutes.

3. REM sleep relaxes muscles.

4. REM sleep triggers dreams.

1. The Norsemen traveled far.

2. The Norsemen were ninth and tenth-century men.

3. The Norsemen ravaged Italy.

4. They ravaged Greece.

5. They colonized Greenland. (more)

6. They colonized Iceland.

7. They discovered America.

1. The Norsemen invaded England.

2. They were adventuring.

3. The Norsemen injected words.

4. The words were in the language.

5. The words were Norse.

6. The Norsemen influnced the sound structure.

7. The structure was of English.

1. It is characterized by the use of sequences.

2. The use is Picasso's.

3. The sequences are nightmare ones.

4. Guernica remains a depiction.

5. The depiction is timely.

6. The depiction is vivid.

7. The depiction is of war.

1. It was covered by strawberries.

2. It was covered with whipped cream.

3. A sundae provides relief.

4. The relief is refreshing.

5. The relief is from the day.

6. The day is hot.

7. The day is humid.

G.) Rewrite each of the following sentences and use parallelism to accentuate the parallel ideas.

1. Tom enjoys swimming, and he likes to skate too.

2. He wore a green suede jacket, and his shirt was flowered. He was wearing platform shoes, multicolored.

3. At 16, I was full of wildness, outspoken, and I was an uncaring person.

4. The work was difficult and there was danger in it.

5. Like many women, she had several roles: wife, mother, going to school, job.

6. When the teacher left the room, I talked loudly, was fighting with my classmates and would throw paper airplanes and even climbed on the desks.

7. When I disobeyed, my parents punished me: no going out, I couldn't talk on the telephone, and was not allowed to have company.

8. Slowly, with ease, and soundless, the dancers moved offstage.

9. The drums pounded, did throb, were rising and falling.

10. Good writing must be honest, have freshness, and precise words.

11. My son wants to be either a fireman or fly planes.

12. The students were more interested in dates with girls than in studying math.

H.) Below are the skeletons of sentences; fill in the blanks in each sentence with parallel words or phrases of your own. Be creative. Take care that your sentences make sense and that your parallels are truly parallel.

1. Subways are ____________, _____________, and ______________.

2. At those parties, we had lots of fun. We __________________, _______________________, and ____________________________.

3. In high school ____________________________, but in college _________________________.

4. __________________ and _______________ make me nervous.

5. It is much harder to ______________ than to _______________.

6. If you ___________ and ___________, you will feel healthy.

7. The way we dress reveals our ____________, our ______________ and our _______________.

8. Many city apartments are plagued by __________, and ________, and ___________________.

9. When you ____________ or _____________, it is hard to find a good job.

10. It was a clear April day. In the park, __________________, _______________________, and _____________________________.

11. If you are a man in America, ____________________________; if you are a woman in America _______________________________.

12. Many college students __________, __________, and _________.

13. Bargain hunters either _________________ or ________________.

14. O. J. Simpson is a man who _______________, ____________, and who ___________________.

15. When I write in class _______________________; when I write at home ________________________.

I.) Rewrite the sentences, correcting the misplaced or missing parts. If the sentence is correct, write C.

1. She answered the ad which appeared in Sunday's paper for a clerk.

2. She bought a dress from a little shop made of denim.

3. John ran to the room where the teacher was giving the test with his heart pounding.

4. The cupcakes were given to the children that had vanilla icing on them.

5. I said when the class was over I would tell her about it.

6. The hikers had to walk all day without sitting down to rest in the slushy snow.

7. The money was in the safe that the robbers stole.

8. The dog which belongs to my neighbor buried a bone in my yard.

9. I promised when the program was over that I would bake a cake.

10. She wore a long, silk skirt with a peach blouse that was ankle-length.

11. Upon receiving the reward, the money was deposited in Joe's account in the bank.

12. Sewing the dress, Joan broke two needles.

13. After cooking all day, the children surprised their mother with dinner out.

14. Debating about grading policies, the issue was finally resolved.

15. Arriving early, many seats were available.

16. Flying through the clouds; the plane signaled to the tower.

17. Working all morning, the job was finally done.

18. While driving to school, the right front tire went flat.

19. As a lover of French food, that restaurant is my favorite.

20. By reading the poem carefully, the meaning becomes clear.

21. No one can shoot anything on this property except the owner.

22. He sat very quietly, rolling his eyes in his chair.

23. The book was missing from the library that we needed to finish our research.

24. The robber was a tall man with a mustache weighing 160 pounds.

25. We watched the newscast with anxious eyes.

26. You will only need to plant one row of corn.

27. She had a meal in a restaurant that was low in price.

28. I gave the woman an umbrella who was interviewing for the job.

29. He promised never to remarry at her deathbed.

30. I nearly waited two hours for the bus.

31. Making only minimum wage, I nearly earned $2,000 last summer.

32. The bus station was located by a river which was made of red brick.

33. A fish was found in the Pacific Ocean that had been considered extinct.

34. The cowboy was thrown by the bull in a leather vest.

35. Sam asked me to go for a ride on the telephone.

36. She was making a sweater for her lover that was warm.

37. The results will only be known after all the votes have been counted.

38. The contractors needed all kinds of artists to paint the mural badly.

39. The opera singer was upstaged by the mime with the robust voice.

40. Left alone in the house, the thunderstorm terrified the two small children.

41.Writing carefully, the essay was finished in time to hand in.

42. My flesh felt creepy after seeing a monster movie.

43. At the age of four, my grandmother taught me to knit.

44. To do well in college, good grades are essential.

45. Crowded in the car, the trip was uncomfortable.

46.While still a student, a job offer was received.

47.After doing calculus problems for hours, John's foot went to sleep.

48. Driving over the hill, the ocean came into view.

49. Confused by complicated wording, the contract made no sense.

50. After clearing his throat, his voice sounded much better to me.

J.) Edit the following sentences to correct faulty parallelism.

a. Police dogs are used for finding lost children, tracking criminals, and the detection of bombs
and illegal drugs.
b. Roger explained to the immigration officer that his visa had expired and of his applying to have
it renewed.
c. It is more difficult to sustain an exercise program than starting one.
d. During basic training, I was not only told what to do but also what to think.
e. Jan wanted to drive to the wine country or at least Sausalito.

1. Activities on Wednesday afternoons include fishing trips, dance lessons, and computers.
2. Tony found that it was faster to ride his bike than driving into the city.
3. The streets were not only too steep but also were too narrow for anything other than pedestrian traffic.
4. More plants fail from improper watering than any other cause.
5. The winner of the gluttony contest swallowed six large pancakes, slurped down a cream pie, gobbled six
waffles, and four pastries in front of the dumbfounded judges.

K.) Add any words needed for grammatical or logical completeness in the following sentences.
a. A good source of vitamin C is a grapefruit or orange,
b. The women entering VMI can expect haircuts as short as the male cadets.
c. The driver went to investigate, only to find one of the supposedly new tires had blown.
d. Most of the spectators were unhappy and angered by the decision.
e. Reefs are home to more species than any ecosystem in the sea.

1. Very few black doctors were allowed to serve in the Civil War, and their qualifications had to be higher
than white doctors.
2. Producers of violent video games are not capable or interested in regulating themselves.
3. David’s cat Machiavelli likes me more than his master.
4. The inspection team saw many historic old buildings had been damaged by the earthquake.
5. American English has borrowed more words from Spanish than from any language.

L.) Edit the following sentences to correct misplaced or awkwardly placed modifiers
a. Our English professor asked us to very carefully reread the sonnet, looking for subtleties we had missed on
a first reading.
b. The monarch arrived in a gold carriage at the gate pulled by four white horses.
c. By afternoon, Sam had almost painted the entire dining room.
d. Coronado, after being appointed leader of the expeditionary force by the Spanish viceroy, spent his time recruiting volunteers for adventure.
e. All fresh vegetables are not salt free.

1. Carlos sat solemnly and didn’t even smile once during the comedy.
2. The orderly confessed that he had given a lethal injection to the patient after ten hours of grilling by the police.
3. Several recent studies have encouraged heart patients to more carefully watch their cholesterol levels.
4. The recordings were all done at the studio of the late Jimi Hendrix named Electric adyland.
5. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette.

M.) Edit the following sentences to correct dangling modifiers.
a. At the age of ten, my parents took me on my first balloon ride.
b. To show our appreciation for your patience, enclosed is a coupon that you may redeem for the book of your
c. Nestled in the cockpit, the pounding of the engine was muffled only slightly by my helmet.
d. In choosing her bridesmaids’ dresses, cost had to be considered a major factor.
e. When a young man, my mother enrolled me in tap dance classes, hoping I would become the next Gregory
1. While working as a ranger in Everglades National Park, a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my
truck one night.
2. By following this new procedure, our mailing costs will be reduced significantly.
3. As president of the missionary circle, one of Grandmother’s duties is to raise money for the church.
4. After becoming eligible to win these bonuses, a sales quota must be maintained for six consecutive months.
5. As a child growing up in Nigeria, my mother taught me to treat all elders with respect.

N.) Edit the following paragraph to eliminate distracting shifts in point of view (person and number.
Many people my age grew up reading science fiction books that told you about life in the twenty-first century.
The lives of the characters in these futuristic tales were often made easier by all kinds of machines, especially
robots. Every one of the kids I knew wanted to have their own robot someday. We thought that you wouldn’t
have to do any chores at home if you had a robot to do the work. Today some kinds of robots exist, but my
childhood robot fantasies have not exactly come true. There are no robots like Rosie, the mechanized maid on
the cartoon The Jetsons. Instead, robots for consumer use are more likely to be toys. For example, a child today
might have their own Furby, an animatronic stuffed animal. A Furby is kind of amusing, I admit, but I’m still a
little disappointed. They can talk and move, but they won’t clean your room.

O.) Edit the following paragraphs to eliminate distracting shifts in tense.
The English colonists who settled in Massachusetts received assistance at first from the local Indian tribes, but
by 1675, there had been friction between the English and the Indians for many years. On June 20 of that year,
Metacomet, whom the colonists called Philip, leads the Wampanoag tribe in the first of a series of attacks on
the colonial settlements. The war, known today as King Philip’s War, rages on for over a year and leaves three
thousand Indians and six hundred colonists dead. Metacomet’s attempt to retain power in his native land failed. Finally he too is killed, and the victorious colonists sell his wife and children into slavery.
The Indians did not leave records of their unfortunate encounters with the English settlers, but the settlers
recorded some of their experiences at the hands of the Indians. One of the few accounts to survive was written
by a captured colonist, Mrs. Mary Rowlandson. She is a minister’s wife who is kidnapped by an Indian war party and held captive for eleven weeks in 1676. Her history, A Narrative of the Captivity and Restoration of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson, tells the story of her experiences with the Wampanoags. Although it did not paint a
completely balanced picture of the Indians, Rowlandson’s narrative, which is considered a classic early American text, showed its author to be a keen observer of life in an Indian camp.

P.) Edit the following sentences to untangle mixed constructions
a. Using surgical gloves is a precaution now worn by dentists to prevent contact with patients’ blood and saliva.
b. A physician, the career my brother is pursuing, requires at least ten years of challenging work.
c. The reason the pharaohs had bad teeth was because tiny particles of sand found their way into Egyptian bread.
d. The change in quality of service has worsened each year.
e. In this box contains the key to your future.

1. Early diagnosis of prostate cancer is often curable.
2. Depending on the number and strength of drinks, the amount of time that has passed since the last drink,
and one's body weight determines the concentration of alcohol in the blood.
3. Dyslexia is where people have a learning disorder that impairs reading ability.
4. Even though Ellen had heard French spoken all her Me, yet she could not speak it.
5. By obtaining the correct form is the first step hi the application process.

Q.) Combine the following sentences by subordinating minor ideas or by coordinating ideas of equal importance. You must decide which ideas are minor because the sentences are given out of context.
a. The lift chairs were going around very fast. They were bumping the skiers into their seats.
b. Our waitress was costumed in a kimono. She had painted her face white. She had arranged her hair in an
upswept lacquered beehive.
c. Student volunteers from Baltimore City Community College help the younger children with reading and
math. These are the children’s weakest subjects.
d. Shore houses were flooded up to the first floor. Beaches were washed away. Brant’s Lighthouse was swallowed by the sea
e. Mary will graduate from high school in June. She has not yet decided on a college.

1. I noticed that the sky was glowing orange and red. I bent down to crawl into the bunker.
2. The Market Inn is located at 2nd and E Streets. It doesn’t look very impressive from the outside. The food, however, is excellent.
3. He walked up to the pitcher’s mound. He dug his toe into the ground. He swung his arm around backward and forward. Then he threw the ball and struck the batter out.
4. On one of my solo runs, I met a six-year-old boy. His name was Timmy. He was in the hospital for treatment of leukemia.
5. The first football card set was released by the Goudey Gum Company in 1933. The set featured only three football players. They were Red Grange, Bronko Nagurski, and Knute Rockne.

R.) In the following sentences, ideas have been coordinated (joined with a coordinating conjunction or a semicolon). Restructure the sentences by subordinating minor ideas. You must decide which ideas are minor because the sentences are given out of context.

a. These particles are known as “stealth liposomes,” and they can hide in the body for a long time without detection.
b. Cocaine is an addictive drug; it can seriously harm you both physically and mentally, if death doesn’t get you first.
c. Students, textile workers, and labor unions have loudly protested sweatshop abuses, so apparel makers have been forced to examine their labor practices.
d. IRC (Internet Relay Chat) was developed in a European university; it was created as a way for a group of graduate students to talk about projects from their dorm rooms.
e. The cafeteria’s new menu has an international flavor, and it includes everything from enchiladas and pizza to pad thai and sauerbraten.
1. We arrived at the Capital Center, and to my dismay we had to pay five dollars for parking.
2. Iguanas are dependent on ultraviolet rays from the sun, so in the winter months they must be put under ultraviolet-coated lights that can be purchased at most pet stores.
3. The Civil War Trust was founded in 1991; it spearheads a nationwide campaign to protect America’s Civil War battlefields.
4. We did not expect to receive so many large orders so quickly, and we are short on inventory.
5. I am certain that Mother spread her love equally among us all, but she had a way of making each of us feel very special in our own way.

S.) In each of the following sentences, the idea that the writer wished to emphasize is buried in a subordinate construction. Restructure each sentence so that the independent clause expresses the major idea and lesser ideas are subordinated.

a. Gina worked as an aide for the relief agency, distributing food and medical supplies. [Emphasize distributing
food and medical supplies.]
b. For the past three years, Ms. Brooks has been an attorney at Pepco, where she has done an excellent job.
[Emphasize that Ms. Brooks has done an excellent job.]
c. The visiting period was nearly over when the prison guard tapped me on the shoulder. [Emphasize the
guard’s tapping the writer on the shoulder.]
d. My grandfather, who raised his daughters the old-fashioned way, was born eighty years ago in Puerto Rico.
[Emphasize how the grandfather raised his daughters.]
e. The Narcan reversed the depressive effect of the drug, saving the patient’s life. [Emphasize that the patient’s life was saved.]
1. The ivy-covered dormitories, located about a mile from most of the classrooms, date from the early nineteenth century. [Emphasize where the dormitories are located.]
2. I was losing consciousness when my will to live kicked in. [Emphasize the will to live.]
3. Louis’s team worked with the foreign mission by building new churches and restoring those damaged by hurricanes. [Emphasize the building and restoring.]
4. The rotor hit, gouging a hole about an eighth of an inch deep in my helmet. [Emphasize that the rotor gouged a hole in the helmet.]
5. Sophia’s country kitchen, which overlooks a field where cattle graze among old tombstones, was formerly a lean-to porch. [Emphasize that the kitchen overlooks the field.]

T.) Edit the following paragraph to increase sentence variety.

I have spent thirty years of my life on a tobacco farm, and I cannot understand why people smoke. The whole process of raising tobacco involves deadly chemicals. The ground is treated for mold and chemically fertilized before the tobacco seed is ever planted. The seed is planted and begins to grow, and then the bed is treated with weed killer. The plant is then transferred to the field. It is sprayed with poison to kill worms about two months later. Then the time for harvest approaches, and the plant is sprayed once more with a chemical to retard the growth of suckers. The tobacco is harvested and hung in a barn to dry. These barns are havens for birds. The birds defecate all over the leaves. After drying, these leaves are divided by color, and no feces are removed. They are then sold to the tobacco companies. I do not know what the tobacco companies do after they receive the tobacco. I do not need to know. They cannot remove what I know is in the leaf and on the leaf. I don’t want any of it to pass through my mouth.

U.) Revise any weak, unemphatic sentences by replacing be verbs or passive verbs with active alternatives. Some sentences are emphatic; do not change them.

a.The Prussians were victorious over the Saxons in 1745.
b.The entire operation is managed by Ahmed, the producer.
c.Yellow flags were thrown down by all the referees.
d.At the crack of rocket and mortar blasts, I jumped from the top bunk and landed on my buddy below, who
was crawling on the floor looking for his boots.
e.There were shouting protesters on the courthouse steps.

1.Just as the police were closing in, two shots were fired by the terrorists from the roof of the hotel.
2.Her letter was in acknowledgment of the student’s participation in the literacy program.
3.The bomb bay doors rumbled open and freezing air whipped through the plane.
4.Listening to the music of Charlie Parker and John Coltrane was my motivation to take up the saxophone.
5.The only responsibility I was given by my parents was putting gas in the brand-new Mitsubishi they bought
me my senior year.

V.) Articles have been omitted from the following story, adapted from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, compiled by Paul Reps. Insert the articles a, an, and the where English requires them and be prepared to explain the reasons for your choices.

Moon Cannot Be Stolen

Ryokan, who was Zen master, lived simple life in little hut at foot of mountain. One evening thief visited hut only to discover there was nothing in it to steal.
Ryokan returned and caught him. “You may have come long way to visit me,” he told prowler, “and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as gift.” Thief was bewildered. He took Ryokan’s clothes and slunk away. Ryokan sat naked, watching moon. “Poor fellow,” he mused, “I wish I could give him this beautiful moon.”

W.) Exercise 6 (Heath, pp. 158-59)

Reduce the wordiness in the following sentences.

1. It is my intention to be affiliated with some large automobile manufacturer in connection with sales of cars and accessories.

2. There are all too mariy instances of condemnation of a person by other human beings before "sufficient knowledge" has been found.

3. I was especially interested in going to the University of Southern California because of the fact that it was near home.

4. Respect is the individual's personal ability to be aware of another person's unique individuality.

5. Owing to the fact that quick action was taken by this employer, a major crisis was averted.

6. He is often thought to have a lack of responsibility; hence, he is not trusted to any great extent by those who know him.

7. I am now very sorry that I didn't find reading a meaningful and worthwhile experience when I was younger.

8. The reason that Lincoln kept in close contact with his generals by writing them letters was that he felt that he was responsible as com-mander-in-chief for the running of the war.

X.) Exercise 7 (Heath, p. 159-60)

Identify the cause of faulty parallelism in each of the following sentences and make the needed correction.

1. Applicants for the position must be United States citizens, willing to work abroad, and qualify under security regulations.

2. In the remedial reading clinic he learned how to coordinate his eye movements, how to scan for information, and how
frequent reviewing for key ideas helps.

3. The opera's opening performance was spirited, colorful, and with many people attending.

4. During the summer, they planned to hitchhike along Route 40, to stop at interesting places, and take sidetrips whenever
they felt like it.

5. Joan of Arc was either regarded as a patriotic martyr or a crazed fanatic.

6. The flasks were difficult to fill, not only because their necks were narrow but also they were slippery and hard to hold.

7. The bumper crop of rice neither helped the farmer nor were the customers helped.

8. At the campground we met a Mr. Osborn from somewhere near San Francisco and who had his whole family with him.

9. And on these hunting trips, Sam teaches the boy when to kill and when not to, ability, patience, and endurance.

10. If you get ambitious, you might even shoot nine holes of golf from your new four-cylinder golf cart, or with your
neighbor go bowling at that new air-conditioned alley, or you might even go and play miniature golf.

Heath (p.175)
Y.) Revise the following sentences to eliminate the dangling modifiers.

1. When waiting for the dentist, every sound from the office is nerve-wracking.

2. After correcting my original calculations, the problem was finally solved.

3. Having seen Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, my attitude toward modern drama has changed completely.

4. The directions were clear, and my trouble could have been prevented, if followed correctly.

5. After hurrying to answer the phone, the operator told the woman the other party had hung up.

6. In order to see the comet in detail, a small telescope was set up in the backyard.

7. The zoning petition was widely supported, after having canvassed many people in the neighborhood and stirred up concern about the proposed high-rise apartment building.

8. Being covered with plastic, I did not expect the car seats would be cool, having sat in the hot parking lot for several hours. 9. At last able to earn my car insurance, my parents allowed me to buy my own car.

10. Although tired and out of practice, the last set of the tennis match was too much of a personal challenge for me to resist.

Heath (pp. 178-79)
Z.) Revise the following sentences to correct misplaced words, phrases, and clauses.

1. He wore a ring on his right finger which was made of topaz.

2. The film about the life of the sea otter that I saw downtown was very interesting.

3. She wrote her book on surfing in Kansas.

4. We camped in a small shelter near the edge of the cliff that had not been used for months.

5. Bread that rises rapidly too often will have a coarse texture.

6. The dean told me I could not return to school in a high rage.

7. He was hit by a rotten egg walking back to his apartment on night.

8. Wild and primitive, with hidden snags and rapids on one side, jungle and savage natives on the other, danger is ever present.

9. I promised during the evening to call her.

10. Often she would spend hours on the edge of the beach watching her small son build a sand castle with half-closed eyes.

Heath (p. 179)
AA.) Revise the following sentences to revise the split constructions.

1. At the end of the period, we were told to promptly hand in our bluebooks.

2. The pharmacist told her she should, since she needed the medicine in such a hurry, have the doctor phone in the prescription.

3. The term reactionary can be applied to political, social, or economic (or a combination of the three) beliefs.

4. After nicking a submerged rock, the canoe began to slowly but steadily leak and to gradually settle deeper into the water.

5. She told him to for heaven’s sake shut up.

Heath (pp. 189-90)
BB.) Revise the following sentences by filling out the incomplete or illogical constructions.

1. The waters of the South Pacific are at least as blue as the Aegean Sea.

2. Disneyland is as large, if not larger, than any other amusement park in the country.

3. The Hondas and Yamahas weigh less and are cheaper.

4. My father complained that his income tax was higher than last year.

5. The distributor was cleaned and the points adjusted.

6. Vale did some of her best work and learned a great deal from her high school history teacher.

7. Because of their climate and soil, Florida and Texas raise more citrus than all the states put together.

8. According to our map of Arkansas, Fort Smith is farther from Little Rock than Pine Bluff.

9. As your Class Secretary, I have and will continue to send you all the news that I receive about the class of '81.

10. Trying to analyze my good points and weaknesses made me a happier and secure person.

Heath (pp. 190-91)
CC.) Identify the causes of faulty coherence in each sentence, and then revise the sentence.

1.Entering the door, after walking up several steps made of concrete, there is a police officer sitting behind the desk, who will gladly give you any needed information.

2. The politician has dinners given, circulars printed, and attends rallies.

3. If someone knows that a certain person is a "cheat," they wouldn't want to be around them and they wouldn't trust him.

4. By the way she tells the story is indication enough of how Mansfield feels.

5. I found Charlie Macklin to be the closest thing to perfection, but at the same time still being human, than any other I have either read about or known in real life.

6. Pulled through a broken window with pieces of glass scattered about, a passing motorist rescued a woman in her home early this morning, which was blazing.

7. One advertisement shows a washing machine "growing" before our eyes to be ten feet tall, and in a different commercial for soap portrays a giant in your washer who labors to clean your clothes.

8. Some occupations in which following directions might not be important are where a person is an artist, a potter, a novelist, or some other creative artist.

9. Although surprising to students, this writer feels that in most questionable cases, the uncertainty of science should be presented for what it is.

10. While personally finding nothing to recommend Marx's system, it is fitting to examine him in order to see how and why so many people have believed in it.

11. He certainly didn't look like a man of my father's age and he certainly didn't have a particle of dignity that I so commonly associated with my father of having.

12. Paul has different ideas about schooling than the school principal.

13. Just because our campus radio station plays so much popular music is no reason for the college to cut its funds.

14. The Lilliputins are much more like the human race than the giants.

15. After being locked in the cabin about two hours, our first roll call of the evening took place.

DD.) Exercise 5 (Heath, pp. 182-83)
Correct the shifts in voice, person, number, mood, or tense in the following sentences.

1. After I finished planting my garden, the seeds were watered daily.

2. The matinee was enjoyed by all the children because they saw two monster films.

3. A person can always find something to criticize if they look hard enough.

4. In the school I attended, you had just five minutes between classes, and that was not enough time for most of us.

5. Don't ride the clutch; you should keep your left foot off the pedal.

6. Because he was so naive, Candide listens to almost anybody he meets.

7. Parson Adams went to London to try to sell his sermons and finds out that people are neither lind nor generous; he does not worry about taking money with him because he thought that people would be hospitable to him.

8. Thus, in "The Way of All Flesh," Butler is telling his readers to look ahead; he tells them not to be caught without knowing what is going on around you.

9. Of course, knowing how to use one's leisure is also important, but I do not think that it is up to the college to more or less arrange your social life, as many collges do.

10. Fifty years ago, your house was the center of your everyday life; today, we Americans practically live in our cars.